Let's Go Steal a Ficlet
by scribblemyname
Summary: Drabbles and ficlets collection for Leverage
1. Nicknames are Serious Business

Adding this little author's note for those who did not notice I'm on a crossposting spree: I wrote all these ficlets going up years ago. Most of them were originally posted on the LJ Comment Fic comm, prompt mentioned in each chapter, under my LJ username scribble-myname, then shortly after that crossposted onto AO3 with my username scribblemyname. I am finally getting around to crossposting them.

Even so, I wrote them and all under my own name, so if you've read these before, you probably read them from me.

Prompt by classics_lover at the LJ Comment Fic comm: _Any, any, chop and change_

* * *

 **Nicknames are Serious Business**

Eliot gave Hardison the Look. "Really? Parker, never let this guy pick handles on a job again."

Parker smiled unperturbed. "I like them. You cook and I love money." She said it with that blissful expression that made both of them think she was imagining holding crisp bills in her hands. (They also both knew her well enough that they were probably right.)

"So you're Chop," Hardison repeated, pointing at Eliot, "and you're Change," then Parker, "and I'm Genius."

Eliot rolled his eyes.

Parker frowned. "Alliteration. You broke the alliteration."

"Uh... Chip?"

Eliot laughed and clapped Hardison on the shoulder. "I like it."


	2. What Have You Done with His Coffee?

For the prompt: _author's choice, author's choice, mid-battle tea break_ by tigriswolf at the Comment Fic LiveJournal community.

* * *

 **What Are You and What Have You Done with His Coffee?**

Sophie was literally in the middle of yelling at Nate when she stopped, blinked twice, and stared at his mug. "Is that..." She paused, leaned over, and sniffed.

Nate groaned as he looked around his house for anything to distract her.

"Nate, is this tea?" She looked up at him in disbelief. When he wasn't _drinking_ , he was drinking coffee. The idea of some herbal concoction in his cup was ridiculous.

"Aren't you mad at me about the job?" he countered.

She gave him the _look_. "Since when do you drink tea?"

"It's just this recipe thing I'm, uh, trying for, uh, Eliot." He waved his hand as he gave the excuse. "Sophie. It's nothing."

"Right." She nodded in total agreement.

She hadn't bought it.

"Because Eliot, of course, makes chamomile tea." She gave him the _look_ again.

"You know, can we go back to arguing about the plan?"

"Fine."

"Fine." 

* * *

On the other side of the kitchen counter, Eliot shot Parker a look. "Chamomile?"

Parker sipped from her own mug. "I bet him he couldn't drink the stuff I was drinking." She wrinkled up her nose. "It's awful."

"Then why drink it?"

"Hardison bet I couldn't get anyone to drink it." Her face got that crazy happy look as she grinned. "I won, so we get to go tour a few museums."

"A museum, huh?" Eliot raised his eyebrows.

"Mm-hm." She started murmuring the names of various security systems and measures in a contented stream.

Eliot decided not to ask next time.


	3. All's Fair in War and Popcorn

Written for daria234's prompt at the Comment Fic LiveJournal community: _Leverage, any, The Princess Bride._

* * *

 **All's Fair in War and Popcorn**

"This movie is a bonafide classic," Hardison told her over his popcorn.

Parker glared at the screen as though it had personally offended her.

"Dude," Eliot interjected. "She said she wanted to watch _The Heist_. You should be glad she doesn't have a fork."

Hardison laughed. "She wouldn't fork me. This is Parker." He stopped laughing and looked at her seriously. "You wouldn't, right?"

Sophie snagged a handful of popcorn as she passed behind the couch. "What are we watching?"

"Hey now! My popcorn. I made it. You can make your own popcorn." Hardison held the popcorn bowl out of Sophie and Eliot's reach.

Parker grabbed a handful behind his back.

"Hey!" He yanked the bowl to the side.

Sophie winked at Eliot and dug her hand in.

"Sophie! Seriously, guys." He pulled the bowl onto his lap and glared at all of them.

But Parker was smiling again, Sophie and Eliot were shooting kernels at each other, and no one else complained as _The Princess Bride_ began to play."

Until someone snitched some more popcorn.

"All right, that's it!" Hardison turned on the culprit. "Et tu, Nate? Seriously?"

Parker snagged the whole bowl before he could stop her.

"Anybody want a peanut?" Eliot asked with a grin.


	4. Intel, Dressed in Pink

For evil_little_dog's prompt at the Comment Fic LJ comm: _Leverage, Parker+Any, Parker has a diary?_

* * *

 **Intel, Dressed in Pink**

Sophie passed through the living room like a hurricane, flipping couch cushions and shoving Hardison's mess of papers aside on the table.

"Hey, watch it, watch it," Hardison protested.

"What you looking for?" Eliot asked.

"Have either of you two seen a pink book about so big?" She held up her hands to indicate.

Eliot frowned. "Pink?"

"Well, I don't have a pink book." Hardison looked at Eliot. "Do you have a pink book?"

"Oh!" Sophie sighed in frustration. "It's Parker's diary."

"Oh." Eliot waved in the direction of the stairs. "Check someplace high that she can hang off of. Doesn't she have a hanging bar somewhere?"

"Great idea!" Sophie smiled and squeezed his shoulder as she went by. "Thanks!"

"Wait a minute..." Hardison looked at Eliot.

Eliot looked at Hardison. "Parker has a diary?"

Hardison groaned. "I knew she was taking notes about us, man. I knew it. Ever since she grifted that Attorney General. She's been watching us, brother." His eyes looked a little crazed as he fixed them on Eliot.

"Wait, wait, forget about that." Eliot waved it aside. "Why is _Sophie_ looking for it?"

They stared at each other, then scrambled out of their seats as one to do what they could.

"Oh, man," Hardison said for the both of them. "We are doomed."


	5. On Pain of Being Forked

For elfgirljen's prompt at the Comment Fic LJ comm: _any, any, "You read my diary? Prepare to die!"_

* * *

 **On Pain of Being Forked**

"Parker. Parker." Hardison had his hands up and was using that 'calming' tone cops used on perps. "Please put down the fork." Okay, so there was some pleading in there, but not enough.

"You read my diary," she stated. "Prepare to die."

"Aw, man. Come on, Parker." Much better on the pleading front. His voice was getting that whine in it that said he was properly intimidated. "You like me. We're friends. I was just trying to figure out what Sophie wanted with it."

Parker sniffed, not lowering the fork for one instant. "You should have asked me. You ever thought of that." She cracked her neck and raised one eyebrow.

"Please. Parker. You know I'd never tell anyone what I read in this book." His eyes did that puppy dog thing.

Parker grinned. "It's a decoy."

"Wait..." Hardison did a double-take. "What?"

"But—" She stuck the fork against his chest and narrowed her eyes until he swallowed hard. "Never read any diary of mine again, fake or otherwise."

"Right. You got it. A-OK."

Satisfied, Parker spun on her heels with a wild grin and skipped toward the door. "Do you smell that? Eliot's cooking." She whipped out and around the corner, Hardison's muttering fading behind her.


	6. Concluding Events of a Date

For yuidirnt's prompt on the Comment Fic LJ comm: _any, any, how their date ends_

* * *

 **Differing Perspectives on the Concluding Events of a Date**

Their dates always end in what Hardison terms, "a crazy, dangerous fall. She throws me off a building. _Again."_

"She's always going to throw you off the building," Eliot pointed out, completely undisturbed in the slightest. If you're going to date twenty pounds of crazy in a harness, you should expect this kind of thing.

But Parker ignored the interjection and shot Hardison an offended, taken aback look. "No, they don't. They end in pretzels."

"Pretzels?" Eliot glanced between them.

"Uh, uh, yeah." Hardison was doing a rather poor job of trying not to blush as he looked anywhere but Eliot, then gave Parker a hinting look.

She shook her head, brows furrowed, expression _'What?'_

 _'You know,'_ was Hardison's look back.

Eliot wasn't stupid. "Spare me the details, okay, and get a room."

Parker slugged him amicably on the shoulder and smiled smugly at Hardison with yet another altogether readable expression that went something like _'All mine.'_


	7. One Big Happy Mess

For marlex's prompt at the Comment Fic LJ comm: _Leverage, any, they all had messy pasts_

* * *

 **One Big Happy Mess**

"You know why you took so long to join us?" Hardison gestured at Nate with his soda.

"You joined me," Nate reminded him. "You all asked _me_."

Eliot nodded. "That aside."

"Here's my theory," Hardison went on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "You couldn't be a thief until you had a messy past."

"No, no." Sophie held up a finger. "Growing up with Jimmy Ford was messy."

"I'm just saying. Until you started drinking, man, and totally screwed up your life"—Nate groaned at that—"with the divorce and the living in your car and going broke, you weren't a thief, you know? Am I right, Parker?" Hardison turned to his girlfriend.

Parker was staring in fierce concentration at his latest robolock, about halfway through cracking it. She looked up, clearly caught out, and nodded. "Uh, yeah. Wait... What?"

"Is that my lock you're breaking? _Tell me_ that's not my lock you're breaking."

Eliot put his head in his hand. "Oh, please."

"It's not your lock." Parker shook her head vigorously.

Nate hid his grin behind his hand while Hardison complained loudly in a long stream of admonition while he tried to wrangle it back from her. Parker held the lock out of his reach.

Sophie interjected with, "I'm fairly certain I've seen him working on it. That is definitely Hardison's lock."

"He said to tell him it wasn't!" Parker took off for the stairs, Hardison in pursuit.

Nate chuckled and lifted his glass. "So much for that theory."


	8. Skeleton Keys

Prompt by lynne_monstr at the LJ Comment Fic comm: _Leverage, Sterling /or+ Nate/Sophie, "When I promised to see you in handcuffs by the end of the day, this isn't what I meant."_

* * *

 **Skeleton Keys**

"When I promised to see you in handcuffs by the end of the day, this isn't what I meant." Sterling tells her this with a very straight face.

"I know, I know," Sophie agrees. "Locked up with me." She holds up her wrist and he winces as the cuff bites. "I have a skeleton key."

They searched both of them and took Sterling's, so he has to ask, "Where did you hide it?"

Sophie leans close and whispers conspiratorially, "I'll tell you if you never tell Nate about this."

He thinks about it for a moment, about all the possibilities, then nods. "Agreed."

"I knew you would." She smiles as she produces the key, and Sterling figures out finally what Nate saw in her when he was still on the side of the law.


	9. Lovingly Crafted

For daria234's prompt: _Leverage, any/any(/any), homemade presents_

* * *

 **Lovingly Crafted**

"Homemade, Hardison," Nate reminded him dryly.

"What?" Hardison protested. "Are you calling this beautiful, lovingly crafted, personalized safe cracker storebought?" Hardison glared.

"It's meant to be a romantic gesture," Sophie interjected. "Homemade means something homey and—"

"And that personalization isn't a good idea," Nate added, gesturing at the words 'Parker 2000.'

Hardison kept glaring and started muttering about underappreciated genius.

Sophie and Nate exchanged looks. He had asked their advice on a romantic gift for Parker, but clearly he'd passed the point of interest in further advice.

Nate shrugged. Sophie nodded.

"Good luck," she told the hacker.

Nate chuckled. "You'll need it."


	10. Moving the Dough

Prompt by evil_little_dog: _Leverage, Eliot+/Parker+/Hardison, "Parker, do we have to move all your money?"_

* * *

 **Moving the Dough**

Eliot groaned at the sight of three more man-sized safes. "Parker, do we have to move all your money?"

Parker looked up from counting bills. "Yes," she hissed, then whipped her head back around to continue counting.

Hardison stuck the dolly under the next safe. "You know, you could help."

She looked up.

"Just saying," he shrugged and muttered to himself as he wheeled the safe out without directly addressing her again.

Satisfied with her count, Parker packed the last of her crisp green bills into the last safe and grinned as she hooked up the harness.

Eliot had to duck behind his own dolly when her safe when whizzing past. "Hardison! Leave her alone next time!" he growled.

A loud thump, bang, and clatter followed by Hardison's loud protests and Parker's giggles told Eliot he wouldn't be getting the desired response any time soon.

"Lovebirds," he groused.


	11. Leverage in 6 (or 10) Words

Prompted at the LiveJournal Comment Fic Community and all plunked here.

* * *

 **Leverage in 6 (or 10) Words**

Prompt by marlex: Any, any, blink

 **Staring Contest**

Parker and Eliot stare. Hardison laughs.

* * *

Prompt by tigriswolf: author's choice, author's choice, end

 **End of an Era**

 _"Parker's_ okay with it," Hardison mutters.

* * *

Prompt by marlex: any, any, food fight

 **Food Fights Not Allowed**

"Not in my kitchen," Eliot growls.

* * *

Prompt by elfgirljen: any, any, sex

 **Get a Room (Parker/Hardison)**

"The living room's _public!"_ Eliot yelled.

* * *

Prompt by allwasnew: any, any, upside-down (10 words)

 **Taking the Leap**

Parker really didn't get why going headfirst bothered her boyfriend.

* * *

Prompt by leni_ba: any. any. recovering stolen goods

 **Leverage Fill: Philosophy According to Parker**

"Is it still theft if the rightful owner hires you?"


	12. Drive a Girl to Crime

Prompt by leni_ba at the LJ Comment Fic comm: _any. any. Criminally Insane (title by Lia Jane)_

* * *

 **Drive a Girl to Crime**

"I prefer the term socially not well-adjusted," Hardison interjected.

"She's crazy, Hardison, and quit interrupting." Elliot turned back to Parker, who hung in the van window, hair wild and grinning. "Get in Lucille."

"In a minute." She disappeared back up her harness.

Elliot shoved his head out the window to make sure she wasn't climbing back up the line to the helicopter she'd just _leapt_ out of. "Next time you hitch a ride, stay up there 'til they land!" he shouted.

The wind wasn't quite loud enough to blow the sound of her giggles away. There really _wasn't_ enough adrenaline rush in an ordinary life.


	13. Don't Touch Me Now

Prompt by iceybreath at the LJ Comment Fic comm: _Any, any, don't hug me, I'm scared_

* * *

 **Don't Touch Me Now**

Parker's afraid of losing him. He almost died and she _can't_ let him touch her, can't let herself realize that she's in love with Alec I-almost-got-myself-killed Hardison and she almost lost him before she even had him.

He watches her as she walks away from the coffin they dug him out of, watches as everyone else on the team hugs and holds and touches and she's wrapping her arms around herself and staying far, far away because she talked him through every moment, kept him alive and breathing, and she just _can't_ give him anything more right now until she pulls herself together.

She can't.

Parker is in love with Hardison, and it scares her.


	14. Unstoppable

Prompt by leni_ba at the LJ Comment Fic community: _any. any. Nothing can stop them._

* * *

 **Unstoppable**

 _No crew_ was as good as Nathan Ford thought his crew was, but they were the best, and Tara was beginning to wonder if they really were unstoppable.

"I mean, haven't you ever walked away without the prize?" she prodded at Eliot, who gave her his standard, growly, offputting look that he wore when interrupted while chopping vegetables. Tara didn't pay it that much heed; his bark was more likely than his bite.

"No."

Tara sighed and scooted out of his space while trying to figure out how Ford _always_ had an ace up his sleeve.


	15. Go Jump in a Lake

For Rana Eros (ranalore) in Multifandom Drabble 2017. Fusion/Crossover with Librarians.

* * *

 **Go Jump in a Lake**

Heroes needed a bit of a hands-on touch and it's not like someone like Nate Ford was going to go jump in a lake. Or dabble with magic, all that good Irish blood notwithstanding.

It would probably take some fiddling with time to get her where she needed to be to do anything for him or for his team. Sadly, it's not like the nation crying out for real justice was about to hand over power to the wielder of an anointed sword either.

Something more fundamental, more vigilante.

A band of thieves.

Parker, she named herself and was born.


End file.
